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Art Students Discover a New Mitt Romney

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—The Mitts Outnumber all other Candidates Combined—
October 8, 2012
Just when Americans thought they knew every Mitt Romney, a group of students at Sarasota’s Ringling School for the Arts and Design have discovered yet another Mitt Romney.  The Ringling students found the new Mitt reading Marxist poetry at a student coffee house located near the Ringling… »

Candidates Demand Americans Return to Using Roman Numerals

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Anti-Muslim Rhetoric May Have Gone a Bit Too Far
March 29, 2012
I. A growing number of political candidates, and an uncountable number of their supporters, have demanded that the United States return to using Roman Numerals for all business and budget transactions.
Warning that U.S. citizens must be on alert for suspicious looking jihadist symbols, Roman Number… »

China Announces Plan to Replace People with Robots

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Leaders expect no change in China’s Tai-Chi performances
February 28, 2013
Top government officials from the People’s Republic of China have announced plans to replace the Chinese people with robots.  Claiming that it is becoming increasingly difficult to improve the productivity of the Chinese worker and citing a need for political stability, Communist leaders promised that by… »

Searching for the Higgs “God” Particle, A CERN Physicist Claims to Have Found Jesus

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Subatomic Miracles Astound Scientists

Jan 8, 2012
For eighteen anxious months CERN super collider scientists have been racing ATOMS around a circular track at close to the speed of light creating atomic smashups. Collisions burst open each atom and send particles, and the hopes of CERN’s scientists, flying off in all directions. In doing so, scientists… »

Euro-Debt Crisis: Greek Democracy A Threat to Western Civilization

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The Twilight of the Euro-Zone Increases the Value of Sterling
November 29, 2012
European finance ministers thought they had a deal. Billions of Euros in new loans from 41 German banks and one anonymous French mattress company would be extended to the Greek government, provided Greece implemented a German designed austerity program. World Stock markets rose steeply… »

Urban Investors Plough Billions of Dollars Into the Farm Economy

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Will the chicken in the market come home to roost?
October 25, 2011
In the last six months corn and soybean prices have skyrocketed, grains exports have exploded, and farm-land prices have steadily pushed upwards; towards the prized value of badly mowed suburban front yard. As agricultural markets boom, investors continue to snap up prime farmland, subprime… »

Investors Debate Where to Put Their Money

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Market Volatility so Extreme Even Buckets Of Cash Do Not Seems Safe
September 2, 2011
As Europe’s debt crisis deepens, as commodity and stock prices gyrate, as the U.S. budget breakdown increases the risk of holding treasuries , the debate over where investors should put their money has intensified.
Wall Street money-guru Greene Stockman told Bloomberg news:
“With… »

Mideast Leaders: We Are Ready To Try American Democracy

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Taking the budget hostage, denouncing comprise, is something, they already know how to do
August 15, 2012

In a rapid turnaround, Mideast regimes from Iran, to the Gulf States, to Syria, to North Africa say they are ready to embrace, American style democracy. Mideast leaders say that after watching July’s heated budget debates in Washington D.C. on… »

Congress Hires Language Translators

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America’s Political Sector is Increasing Bi-Lingual
July 25, 2012
The United Nation (UN) employs over one hundred language translators –which, on any given day, convert UN floor discussion into 16 languages and sends the resulting message, or denunciation, into the earphones of delegates from around the globe. The European Union (EU) hires translators to covert intra-government… »

Environmental Fear: Budget Cuts Could Lead State Parks to Revert to Wilderness

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Wildlife May Be Forced to Live In a State of Nature
July 4, 2011

The recent state budget crisis has forced 9 state Governors to close 32 state parks and 24 wilderness areas. Across the country alarmed environmentalists are warning that if state parks and wilderness areas remain closed, they could be overrun by wild animals and uncontrolled… »