North Korea Complaint: Iran Getting all the Attention
North Korea Charges California’s Cousins Get Zealous in a Hollier-Than-Wood Way
July 3, 2009
North Korea filed a complaint with the U.N. and World Press Organization claiming that the Western media has made Iran’s mullahs the world’s bad guys who: “receive all the anger and press attention”. Speaking through a British Educated Burmese lawyer, North Korea stated that their missile launches, nuclear buildup, and strident fire, fury, and war statements warrant more press coverage and Western denunciations than a “rice bin” of disputed votes in a country where:
1) “Not one atom has yet to prove itself fire-worthy.”
and :
2) The President is a puppet of a group of: “wrinkly old men who suffer from sandstorm shaped scratchy-itching beards, who display a flickering and false hatred of the West, and who, represent a religion that still doesn’t have any furniture.”
North Korea claims that the Western media bias has prevented Nations of the world from seeing the Dear Leader as the central spoke in the Western-axis-of-evil and thus the chosen atomic light which will: “guide the world’s people from the parched cactus-prickly deserts of the West to the lush waterfall-sprayed flower, fern, and bamboo golden gardens of Eastern Kim-harmony.”
The Korean hired Burmese lawyer read a carefully translated statement to a reporter-trainee from New York’s City’s Empire State College newspaper outside the gate of U.N. headquarters:
“Iran’s leaders and people are nothing more than a fleeting swarm of face-hiding imposters of Western hate and loathing. One moment they are taking hostages, another letting the hostages go home. One moment they are shouting death to American Cars, the next moment whispering Americans Cars sales back to life. One moment they purchase the True Korea’s centrifuges, the next moment they spin the True Korea’s sale agents in circles with tales of late oil payments. One only needs to shave the beards and black eyebrows from Iran’s leaders to unveil Iran’s hidden California shame; that it is a cool acting, hot blowing, earthquake straddling, jammed traffic honking, water bottle drinking, group-religion-chanting, multiple political-hydra headed, rain deficient, fig and grape growing land.”
The lawyer looked up and added:
“But where water surfers practice their unproductivity’s on the internet instead.”
North Korea said if it does not receive more media attention for its reckless behavior and strident war pounding rhetoric it will launch “hissing-tipped noise-crushing” missiles at both Iran’s ruling clergy and student dissidents and “squash the sound of Iran’s reported newspaper fakers and their Western story making disciples.”
Western intelligence analysts claim that the sound-missile threat plus North Korea’s recent apology for sending former singer-dancer Michael Jackson, the wrong birthday cake, was, according CIA estimates, a gimmick to gain media attention.
Said CIA Middle East analyst Ralf Lieterf:
“Since the Dear Leader had a stroke six months ago we have seen increased reckless ‘attention getting’ actions on part of North Korea. Either there has been an internal power struggle which a fourteen year old has won, or the last fifty years of the Dear Leader’s brain has been wiped out by a stroke fired oxygen blow-out to the brain. Either way I am sure Iran’s leaders are following the Michael Jackson news more intensely than the story about toxic bakeries operating out of North Korea.