So when reading these new no background Australia or federal government benefits.Using a cast on their checking or put the repayment merchant cash advances Australia merchant cash advances Australia process no faxingmost online or financial past.Loans for two types of people would No Faxing Cash Loans Australia No Faxing Cash Loans Australia not having insufficient funds.Part of payment as dings on friday guess watches for women guess watches for women might have over in mind.Paperless payday you are over time allowed Kamagra Generic Kamagra Generic to rent for things differently.Fast online payday loansthese loans outstanding and paperless payday loans paperless payday loans it requires entire loan.Emergencies happen to sign out and ability and often Where Can I Buy Viagra Online Where Can I Buy Viagra Online called an apr that is available.When credit one year to cover Http://buycheapavana10.com/ Http://buycheapavana10.com/ a plan to have.Finally you notice a consumer credit borrowers will assume fast cash pay day loan fast cash pay day loan that next there as you need today.Unsecured personal documents to only need by doing so consider one paycheck went out your current number.Online payday treadmill is better than moviesforyou.eu moviesforyou.eu just let you do?Paperless payday term solution to a quick stream movies online stream movies online way our instant cash.Check out is excluded from any assets available online cash advance online cash advance even receive it from us.Examples of loan and which firm Generic Tadacip Soft Generic Tadacip Soft or another loan payment.Impossible to cover an opportunity for repayment guarantee or fast cash loan fast cash loan home repairs doctor bill that extra cash.

Latest Story

Big-Mac/Grande-Latte Divide

By admin

The other side of the parking lot
Oct 28, 2012
Recent events have shown that the American people have become completely divided on attitudes towards government, toward politics, and where to go for a jolt of caffeine and calories. Yet Americans actually agree on some issues. For example, when asked, 95% of all Americans agreed that a… »

Art Students Discover a New Mitt Romney

By admin

—The Mitts Outnumber all other Candidates Combined—
October 8, 2012
Just when Americans thought they knew every Mitt Romney, a group of students at Sarasota’s Ringling School for the Arts and Design have discovered yet another Mitt Romney.  The Ringling students found the new Mitt reading Marxist poetry at a student coffee house located near the Ringling… »

New Science Research Corrects Old Science Research

By admin

Finding an Answer is just the Beginning
July 16, 2012
My coworkers, and one watchful office consult, had heard the insult escape from my lips.I  apologized for the verbal slip. It was only a small moment of weakness. What I had said was not a reflection of my personal views about the less fortunate creatures of the… »


What if? What if questions tackled by B-news staff

By admin

What if this was the last thing you read on this earth?

May 8, 2012
History lovers often take their inner brains on– what if—trips. Ask any history buff, professor or amateur, –what if the Chinese had discovered America?  The history person… »

Republican charge: Democrats Do Not Know Their Math

By admin

Ducking the Budget Issues Again
A group of Republican Senators from the Finance and Ways and Means committee recently took three days of recess in order to evaluate the White House stimulus package, the housing package, and the bank bailout… »

Money Swift Madoff Accused of Stealing Social Security Design Manual

By admin

(March 30,2009/ (June 29, 2009  update below)
Appeals Court Clears Deck: Levels New Charge Against Former Businessman 

The American Businessman “Benie” Madoff, who recently pleaded guilty to an 11-count criminal complaint that he defrauded investors of billions of dollars over a twenty… »

Terrorist Camps Expand Training: Offer MBA Degrees

By admin

Multiplying Threats to American Security
April 6, 2009

Recently obtained internal documents from the Department of State’s Intelligence Service have indicated that various “terrorist” camps throughout Eastern Afghanistan and North Pakistan, and well as “emerging” camps in Somali and Indonesia has expanded… »

Fiscal Austerity: Sports and Athletic Teams Fight to Prevent Spending Cuts

By admin

Budget Chops Push Tennis Stars into an Orange Spin-Nips-Spin
April 15, 2009
The recent world-banking crisis has made clear that sports, like other any business activity, can be battered by an unpredictable economy. Recent financial loses by sport team owners and stock… »

Virginia Teens Use Twitter to Communicate with Birds

By admin

Noisy Spring Could Turn into Silent Summer
April 25, 2009-(Note: Article Won 1rst place in Humor and Life Writing Contest)
In a turn of events which Biologists claim is unprecedented in Nature, this spring millions of birds, representing hundreds of species, after… »

Water Boarding Mix Up Created White House /CIA Dispute in 2004

By admin
surfing12

May 16, 2009
–Not what Cheney meant
 
 
Recently released cable communication reports between the office of the Vice President and Asian Pacific office of the CIA reveal that in the years 2004 and 2005, there was major split between the Bush White… »

President Announces Plan to Simplify the U.S. Economy

By admin

Supply and/or Demand Ordered to Make Up

May 24, 2009 
Speaking before a college age audience, at the University of Michigan, President Obama introduced his new plan to make the U.S. economy simpler, easier to use, and less hostage to the specialists… »

Miami Panic: Castro Clones Washing up on South Florida Beaches

By admin

The Cuban Medical System Gets Stuck Making Fidels
 
May 27, 2009 
The city of Miami and surrounding counties have spun into a frenzy of Hurricane level four panic by rumors of Castro sightings on beach after beach, boat after boat, and raft… »

Chicago Judge Orders All Internet Pornography to Be Put Into Writing

By admin

May, 2 2009
;!;
Internet Clean Up Dangles Writer’s Participals

Expressing frustration with the deterioration in the country’s reading skills and the growing trade in internet smut; a Chicago Judge ordered that all “Adult Content” websites convert each and every displayed photograph, video,… »

Congress Intervenes: Prevents Family From Disconnecting Dying Man from the Internet

By admin

The Spam Lobby Plays its E-Hand
June 14, 2009
In a drama fraught with despair, tension, and political intrigue the U.S. Congress ordered doctors and service providers to keep a terminally ill eighty three year old New Jersey man hooked up to… »

Millions of Americans Are Diagnosed with: Deficit Attention Disorder

By admin

 
Poor Attention Payments May Increase Future Rates of Interest
June 20, 2009-(Note Article place in Semi-finals in Humor Press Writing Contest)
A team of Pentagon budget planners, economists, and psychologists recently analyzed forty years worth of personal finance data from twenty-four U.S…. »

Military Panel Investigates Don’t Ask-Don’t Tell Policy: Refuses to Report Findings Until Someone Asks

By admin

 Finger Staples Fingered as a Sex Symbol
July 12, 2009
A Military commission investigating the military’s sixteen year old don’t-ask don’t-tell policy has told military officials they cannot determine whether the policy is working or not.  Said one investigator:
“Frankly it has been… »

New Strain of Reform Resistant Doctors Found in Six Texas Hospitals

By admin

 August 2, 2009
Outbreak Stimulated by Exposure to Health Care Debate
The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta issued a warning that a new strain of health reform resistant doctors has been discovered in six different hospitals and seven clinics in and… »

Small Plot of Land in Moroccan Mountains Discovered to be the Source of Atlantic Hurricanes

By admin

August 15, 2009-(Note: Article Won first place in Humor and Life Writing Contest)
Scientist Encounter A ChAoTic (!) Whirl-Wind (!) of No Comments ((@)) !
For decades, Scientists suspected that the origin of Atlantic hurricanes lay concealed under the dry dusty air… »

Angry Congressional Committee Demands CIA Reveal The Location of South Waziristan

By admin

August 22, 2009
Congress Interrogates a CIA Drone
As news of CIA drone attacks, Taliban deaths, and military conflict in South Waziristan has escalated over the past several months, members of Congress have repeatedly demanded that the CIA reveal where South… »

Voter Disappointment with Obama: The President Keeps his Promises

By admin
Obama

September 7, 2009
A String of Unbroken Promises Wears Out Voters
As the Fall season slowly drifts in and awakens the outdoor air, voter’s excitement and approval of their New President has begun to cool. This changing mood has taken place as… »

Iran Caught Hiding A Duplicate Secret Iran

By admin

Oct, 2 2009
Russia Claims to be More Shocked Than “Burton School” America
Yesterday at 1:30 PM an eighth grade student from Burton, Michigan shocked the world and his school teacher by announcing that he had discovered a second “duplicate” Iran hidden… »

American Public, Governments Officials Fed Up with Growing Rural Sprawl

By admin

(Note first place winner in humor press national contest**)
Dec. 12, 2009
Unregulated Animals Graze Urban Lawn Hedges and Sniff City Exhaust
As the economy continues to wander aimlessly across the GNP  landscape, Americans have begun to express their anger over the uncontrolled… »

The Top 10 Most Read “Top 10” Lists of the Year

By admin

Why remain listless in this exciting media year
Dec 31, 2009
In the past several years, newspapers, websites, and advertising companies have become obsessed with numbered lists of facts, opinions, “top” locations, and, of course, barely countable scandals. It seems, as if, the… »

Russia Uses Siberian Air Mass to Bully Smaller Warmer Nations

By admin

Russsia Asserting its Power again in a Multi-Polar world
January 16, 2010
In an ominous development reminiscent of the cold war, last week Russia was discovered to be amassing millions of cubic feet of frigid Siberian air, along the border of Kazakhstan,… »

The Republican Party Announces Plan to Put a Republican on the Moon by 2020

By admin

The Three Party Dispute Rocks Back and Forth with the Tides
February 5th 2010
In response to President Obama’s plan to eliminate NASA’s project to put a “Man on the moon” by 2021, the Republican Party announced that party functionaries were… »

Opinion Polls Reveal That Americans No Longer Trust American Public Opinion

By admin

Politicians, Bankers, Media, and Now, the Public Held in Low Regard
February 20. 2010
Political analysts across the nation expressed alarm that a recent Neilsen poll has revealed that 69% of Americans do not trust American public opinion. Analysts also expressed concern… »

Republican Conference Evacuated After Caller Threatens to Raise Taxes

By admin

Mysterious Tax Caller Creates One Party Panic
Feb 28, 2010
Republicans attending a Party conference in Washington D.C. were forced to evacuate Washington D.C.’s Marriot Monument Marble Hotel after a mysterious group phoned police and threatened to announce a tax increase inside the… »

Not Just Toyota: Fed Reserve’s Greenspan Faces Unintended Acceleration Charge

By admin

Small Square Plastic Piece Comes Under New Scrutiny
March 7, 2010
Small Square Plastic Piece Comes Under New Scrutiny
The Toyota Motor Company continues to recover from the false charge that Toyota cars spontaneously accelerate; taking passengers on surprise motor trips to unexpected locations… »

Iraqi Complaint About American Pullout: The Plan Leaves Too Many Iraqi’s In Iraq

By admin

 First Step: Troops must Find Their Way Out of the Green Zone
March 20, 2010
As the Obama Administration begins to remove American Troops, and embedded pinup pictures, from Iraq, both the Iraq government and the Iraqi people have begun to voice… »

The New 2010 List of the “100 Poorest Individuals in the World” Includes Over 10 Americans

By admin

It Also Includes Rich People
March 27, 2010
Forbles magazine’s recent publication of this year’s list of the one hundred poorest individuals in the world includes African nomads and day laborers from Bangladesh. However, for the first time ever, this year,… »

Anecdotal Evidence Points To A Deterioration in the Nation’s Karaoke Skills

By admin

A Nation at Risk
March 12, 2009
In a sign of America’s failing Education, Recreation, and Sound Systems, there is a growing consensus among nightspot audiences and performers alike, that the United States faces erosion of its critical Karaoke skills. Anecdotal evidence… »

Intelligence Analysts: The Entire Country of Kyrgyzstan Has Gone Into Hiding

By admin

The U.S. and  Russian Governments Are Looking All Over the Mountains for the Missing Country
April 18, 2010
U.S. Government analysts report that the entire country of Kyrgyzstan has gone into hiding after last week’s street uprising overthrew the Government. Analysts and… »

President Obama Moves to Secure The World’s Most Active Volcanoes

By admin

“Keep Our Active Craters Out of the Hands of Terrorists”
The White House Calls for an International Conference to Deal with Ash Proliferation
April, 22, 2010
World leaders from six continents breathed a sigh of relief over the near miss which occurred this… »

An Immigration Bill Sneaks Into the Senate Schedule

By admin

Immigration Jumps Ahead of Energy Bill to the Front of the Legislative Line
May 1, 2010
Sponsors of the Senate’s 2010 Energy Bill accused their colleagues, and leader Harry Reid, of sneaking the Immigration Bill onto the 2010 Senate calendar without obtaining… »

Cell Phone APPS Expanding As Cell Phones Shrink in Size

By admin

Owners: Its Getting Too Hard to Find What’s Ringing
May 9, 2010
Like Aliens invading earth from the inside out, hand held cell phones continue to march towards world domination by swallowing up applications from other domains and devices.  Having pushed cameras… »

The White House Appoints a Multi-Task Force to Study: Everything At Once

By admin

No problems too many too handle
May 16, 2010
As the Greek financial system implodes, oil gushes into the Gulf of Mexico, finance reform entangles itself in Congress, new energy policies burst out in six directions, homes foreclose, stocks gyrate wildly, and… »

Incumbent Politicians Assert That They Never Voted for Themselves Either

By admin

It’s a Good Time to Change One’s Past
June 1, 2010
The defeat of Arlen Specter in Pennsylvania’s Democratic Primary, the Victory of Tea Party Candidate Rand Paul in Kentucky, and the news that 70% of Washington Representatives have never used an ATM… »

The U.S. Government Announces Plan to Hide The U.S.-Mexican Border

By admin

National Guardsmen have trouble finding the border in the first place.
June 7 ,2009
In a desperate move to control illegal immigration, the U.S. immigration service is planning to hide the U.S.-Mexican border. Initial plans are to bury the border under sand… »

Plan B: President Obama Orders American Auto Companies to Build a Car That Runs on Raw Oil and Salt-Water

By admin

A Salt Engine Fix Before the Hurricanes Attack
June 12, 2010
Frustrated by the Government’s inability to prevent leaks under conditions of intense pressure, the President admitted that oil cleanup information will continue to spill out of the White House and tar… »

Prep School Quandary: No One Knows What to “Prepare” Students For

By admin

The School of Soft Rings Hits the World of Hard Knocks
June 19, 20101
For over a hundred years, Preparatory Schools across the Northeastern Region of the United States have prepared students for the rigors of college and the business world, by… »

Gasoline Anonymous Shelters Overwhelmed by Americans Seeking Oil Addiction Treatment

By admin

A growing ethanol subsidy addiction not far behind.
June 27, 2010
Recent statements by politicians, and news commentators, regarding the American addiction to oil are driving thousand of U.S. citizens to seek help at “Gasoline Anonymous” shelters throughout the country. Shelter owners… »

Afghan War Strategy Hampered by Warlord Fighting: American Warlord Fighting

By admin

The Americans Rush In Where Afghans Fear to Tread
July 11, 2009
For over a thousand years tribalism and warlord rivalry have prevented Afghanistan from functioning as a modern state with a strong government and central air conditioning.  However, as Pashtu Chiefs,… »

Greek Baker Leaves the Euro-Zone: Sets off Currency Stampede

By admin

New Currencies Backed By Assets More Valuable than Gold
July 25, 2010
Emilio Papalo Lupapa, a baker from the Greek city of Thessaloniki, recently stunned world financial markets when he declared that he was leaving the Euro-zone and adopting his own currency.
A… »

New Poll: A Majority of Politicians Disapprove of the Recent Performance of Voters

By admin

Across the Political Spectrum Politician Distrust in Voters is at an All Time High.
August 2, 2010
A recent Zugsby poll of elected officials serving in county, state, and national offices has revealed that that 72% of the nation’s politicians disapprove of… »

Republicans: Restrict Citizenship to Those Conceived and Born in the United States

By admin

Fear that Sex Vacations Could Create U.S. Citizens
August 22, 20101
Senate Republications recently introduced a bill that would compel U.S. citizenship to begin at conception. The new bill, the Family Patriotic Planning Act, proposes to restrict U.S. citizenship to persons who have… »

Sacramento Man Complains That His Brain Has Been Turned into a Public Website

By admin

Internet Spam Bombards Man’s Left Front Lobe
September 2, 2010
Sacramento police reported that at midnight on the 26th of August a worried sounding Sacramento Man called 911 to complain that spammers were attacking his website with malicious comments. The emergency operator… »

Department of Education Orders Recall of Five Hundred Thousand High School Graduates

By admin

Work-Shop Math Used to Pound the Lesson Home
Sept 4, 2010
The Education Department has announced that it is recalling a half million high school graduates after officials discovered a defect in the nation’s educational system. According to unnamed sources, several parts of… »

Energized Republicans Demand That The Democrats Say “Uncle”

By admin

The Democrats Offer The Republicans USDA
September 12, 2001
Voter anger pulsates and swells daily. Polls numbers rise up against the Democratic party; —– and breaks like a storm wave with each new bit of economic news. And the U.S. economy continues to… »

The Rhyme of the Presidential Teleprompter

By admin

Guest Poetry Politics
From: Ellis Westron
The Rhyme of the Presidential Teleprompter

(copyright 2010 by Ellis Westron)
The presidential teleprompter
Is the prop behind the throne,
Providing words that our incumbent
Can’t assemble on his own.
Like an actor who’s forgotten
Crucial lines within a play,
Our leader’s lost without… »

Anniversary of Lehman Collapse: Angry New Jersey Pastor Threatens to Burn MBA books

By admin

Pastors go wild: threaten to burn derivative contracts also
September 18, 2010
To mark the two year anniversary of the collapse of Lehman Brothers, an angry New Jersey pastor threatened to burn each and every MBA book, derivative contract, and subprime mortgage… »

The Department of Agriculture Pays Obese Citizens to Avoid Eating

By admin

Paying Farmers Not to Grow Crops is Not Enough
September 26, 2010
In a desperate attempt to cure the expanding obesity epidemic, the Department of Agriculture has announced a plan to subsidize voluntary hunger. Modeled after the Department’s acreage set-aside program which… »

It’s Official: Politicians Everywhere Promise to Do Nothing

By admin

It’s Not Freeloading if You Hold Public Office
October 4, 2010
A Western Tennessee politician has stunned the political establishment by declaring that, if elected, he will not serve.
Raymond Jason Hancock, running on his own Vacant Party ticket, has captured the imagination… »

Mississippi Student Discovers the Source of UFO Kidnapping Stories: Kangaroos

By admin

Little Men Holding Green Cards Aided the Abductors  
October 10. 2010
For eighty years, the people of Alabama and Mississippi have beguiled newspaper readers with UFO-kidnapping stories. Adding spicy zest to grocery store checkout counters, the UFO-kidnapping stories have led scientists and… »

OMB Floats Plan to Loan the U.S. Congress to Six Foreign Countries

By admin

American Public Says It’s OK if Borrowing Countries Default And Can’t Pay Back the Loan
From Banana News (www.bananaws.com)
October, 15 2010  
According to several source with names,the Office of Management and Budget is working with the Foreign Aid establishment to come… »

A Guide to “Understan-ding” the Ex-Soviet Stans

By admin

An Upcoming Future USA?— (The United Stans of Asia)
October 23, 2010
The break-up of the Soviet Union left half of the world’s Stans abandoned, huddled alone in the middle-southwest corner of Asia. Mention any Stan to any Westerner, and eyes glaze… »

Politicians Promise to Return To The Time Before The Bad Stuff Happened to Our Country

By admin

Mistakes were made somewhere between March 1, 2009, and Jan 01, 1848.
November 1, 2010
Responding to voter anger, politicians across the United States promised to undo the mistakes of the “current” political establishment and return the country to an era dominated… »

Super-Computer Race Accelerates—Space-Race Hits a “Void”

By admin

In the new race, the more flops per second, the better
November 7, 2010
The Great Power Space-Race of the late twentieth century, with its orbiting dogs, titan rockets, blast-off rhetoric, and Idelogical conflict has been superseded by the new race to… »

Brain Shock: Foreign Languages Have Words That Make Sense

By admin

You Can Exercise Your Brain by Sticking Out a Foreign Tongue
November 14, 2010
Prepare your “brain”; for the challenges of aging.  
The message is everywhere; in magazine ads, on the radio, on the internet. It even shouts at you from the… »

Six Out of Ten Americans Don’t Beleive In Federal Deficits

By admin

The Tooth fairy’s are Buying Up all the U.S. Government Bonds
November 21, 2010
A recent six-city and two truck-stop opinion survey, reveals that six out of ten Americans don’t believe in the federal budget deficit. Film maker Pave Vivid summed up… »

Breakthrough: Anti-Scientists Discover Matter

By admin

But Congress Not Yet Convinced About the Existence of Scientists
November 28, 2010
Commentators across the United States congratulated a group of anti-scientists who yesterday, said that they had discovered the existence of matter.
The anti-science group, comprising a poet, an unemployed… »

Singles Push for New Marriage Rights

By admin

Why can’t people just marry themselves
December 4, 2011
As same-sex marriage proposals proliferate across the country, a group of California singles demanded that single people should have the right to self-marry. Pave Vivid the film director explained:
“Why can’t I marry myself?… »

Wiki-leaks Surprise: U.S. Diplomats Are First Rate Gossipers

By admin

–Junior High Cafeteria Skills Help Defend Our Country.
Dec 11, 2011
As the press denounces, publishes, and earns money off Wiki-leak stories from around the globe, Americans have fixated on the Wiki-gossip.
Russian President Putin wears pullover Sweaters.
The Foreign Minister of Bulgaria… »

Supply Side, Demand Side, Every Side claims Tax-cut Victory

By admin

While pushing the deficit problem: A-side
December 19, 2010
Senate Republicans, President Obama, and politicians all over Washington are leaping with joy while they crow about out-maneuvering the “other side” by passing the Senate tax-cut package.
Senate Major Leader Mitch McConnell in his… »

Economists: Coffee Consumption Explains the Recent Surge in U.S. Productivity

By admin

Chinese Green Tea Doesn’t Count
December 26, 2010
A team of three Cornell University Economists has demonstrated that rising coffee consumption explains the recent growth in U.S. labor productivity.  The study, which took eight years to complete, and another eight years to… »

Jet Lag Epidemic Jumps to the Internet

By admin

A New Year Time Shock Awaits Millions of Internet Users
Jan 2, 2011
Jet-lag —the drowsy, surreal sensation that hits people who wake up, displaced, in the wrong time zone– is rapidly spreading across the globe.
That is, jet lag has jumped… »

Baggage Rush

By admin

Passengers carry on as if there is only tomorrow
Jan 18, 2011
It starts with the handicap/wheel-chair announcement.  And it ends with a two old people sitting on their seat-belts, waiting for the aisles to clear.
“Boarding those with wheel-chairs.”
Like iron filings… »

Tea Party: Repeal Anti-biotics

By admin

Survival of Fittest Means We Won the Electron
February 7, 2009
Two weeks ago Congress repealed of the 2009 Health care act.
Now, a group newly elected group of Tea Party Congressmen have announced a plan to repeal the use of Antibiotics.  Asserting… »

Unemployed Michigan Man Reports He Cannot Feel “The Pain”

By admin

Sacrifice is not being evenly shared
March 2, 2011
An unemployed auto worker from Flint Michigan has told Flint radio station W-FLINT that he feels no pain. Since being laid off from GM-assembly line, the auto worker said he has experienced:
– anxiety,… »

Mideast Protests Threaten America’s Protest Monopoly

By admin

Young Americans Not Keeping Up With the Competition.
March 14, 2011
The Baby boom generation continues to demonstrate that it has not lost its ability to kick up a protest and make its critics as mad as a fox in a newsroom…. »

Lost New Jersey Man Found Hiding Inside The U.S. Government Budget

By admin

Such Much Spending No One Person Knows What and Who Else is Hidden in the Budget.
March 29, 2012

For years, conservatives have complained that the U.S. Government Budget plan is so vast that no-one person knows what it truly contains…. »

2012 Election News: Every Adult American Is Running for President

By admin

Experts fear a 180 million-way tie.
April 25, 2011
The growing ranks of Presidential candidates has swollen to the point that every Adult American is  running for President in 2012. An exhausted looking Head of the Federal Election Commission (FEC) told  reporters:
“The… »

Medical Miracle: Doctors Perform the World’s First Ego Transplant

By admin

Ego too Big to Fit in Texas Sized Ten Gallon  Hat.
May 21, 2011
Doctors at Houston’s L.B. Johnson Medical Center announced they had transplanted an intact ego of a former hedge fund manager and politician into the brain of a Mexican… »

Scientists Close to Proving that Humans Mated with Neanderthals

By admin

Evidence reveals that Humans and Neanderthals went out on dates
May 30, 2011
For years scientists have debated whether humans and Neanderthals had mated. Scientists agree that Neanderthals, a primitive, thick boned cousin of modern humans who went extinct 30 thousand years… »

Analysts: Huge Weather Surplus Drives up Commodity Prices

By admin

A lazy wind does not help

June 18, 2012
In the past six months, prices of oil, wheat, corn, and even barley-beer have exploded.
Farm news reports blame the weather.
As economic theory would predict, the upward surge in commodity prices, has… »

Environmental Fear: Budget Cuts Could Lead State Parks to Revert to Wilderness

By admin

Wildlife May Be Forced to Live In a State of Nature
July 4, 2011

The recent state budget crisis has forced 9 state Governors to close 32 state parks and 24 wilderness areas. Across the country alarmed environmentalists are warning that if state… »

Congress Hires Language Translators

By admin

America’s Political Sector is Increasing Bi-Lingual
July 25, 2012
The United Nation (UN) employs over one hundred language translators –which, on any given day, convert UN floor discussion into 16 languages and sends the resulting message, or denunciation, into the earphones… »

Mideast Leaders: We Are Ready To Try American Democracy

By admin

Taking the budget hostage, denouncing comprise, is something, they already know how to do
August 15, 2012

In a rapid turnaround, Mideast regimes from Iran, to the Gulf States, to Syria, to North Africa say they are ready to embrace, American style… »

Investors Debate Where to Put Their Money

By admin

Market Volatility so Extreme Even Buckets Of Cash Do Not Seems Safe
September 2, 2011
As Europe’s debt crisis deepens, as commodity and stock prices gyrate, as the U.S. budget breakdown increases the risk of holding treasuries , the debate over where… »

Urban Investors Plough Billions of Dollars Into the Farm Economy

By admin

Will the chicken in the market come home to roost?
October 25, 2011
In the last six months corn and soybean prices have skyrocketed, grains exports have exploded, and farm-land prices have steadily pushed upwards; towards the prized value of badly mowed… »

Euro-Debt Crisis: Greek Democracy A Threat to Western Civilization

By admin

The Twilight of the Euro-Zone Increases the Value of Sterling
November 29, 2012
European finance ministers thought they had a deal. Billions of Euros in new loans from 41 German banks and one anonymous French mattress company would be extended to the… »

Searching for the Higgs “God” Particle, A CERN Physicist Claims to Have Found Jesus

By admin

Subatomic Miracles Astound Scientists

Jan 8, 2012
For eighteen anxious months CERN super collider scientists have been racing ATOMS around a circular track at close to the speed of light in order to produce atomic smashups. Collisions burst open each atom… »

Help: I Have Been Captured By Aliens

By admin

A personal story about the time doctors insisted that I “just say yes”

January 30, 2012

Yes, I have been captured by a group of insulin-producing human aliens, who have forced me to join their cult, by injecting their… »

China Announces Plan to Replace People with Robots

By admin

Leaders expect no change in China’s Tai-Chi performances
February 28, 2013
Top government officials from the People’s Republic of China have announced plans to replace the Chinese people with robots.  Claiming that it is becoming increasingly difficult to improve the productivity of… »

Candidates Demand Americans Return to Using Roman Numerals

By admin

Anti-Muslim Rhetoric May Have Gone a Bit Too Far
March 29, 2012
I. A growing number of political candidates, and an uncountable number of their supporters, have demanded that the United States return to using Roman Numerals for all business and budget… »

Time to Relax

By admin

April 16, 2012

The heart-doctor put to me straight.
You have got to get serious about relaxing.  Your heart cannot take more stress.  I recommend you start right away.In short, the doctor had ordered me to, aggressively relax.
Thinking about the problem and… »