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New Year Dec, 30, 2009
Yes, that was a planned Banana News headline. Then the… »
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Department of Education Orders Recall of Five Hundred Thousand High School Graduates
Work-Shop Math Used to Pound the Lesson Home
Sept 4, 2010
The Education Department has announced that it is recalling a half million high school graduates after officials discovered a defect in the nation’s educational system. According to unnamed sources, several parts of the U.S. educational system were found to be working improperly. Providing one example, an unnamed… »
Republicans: Restrict Citizenship to Those Conceived and Born in the United States
Fear that Sex Vacations Could Create U.S. Citizens
August 22, 20101
Senate Republications recently introduced a bill that would compel U.S. citizenship to begin at conception. The new bill, the Family Patriotic Planning Act, proposes to restrict U.S. citizenship to persons who have been both conceived and born inside the United States. However, bill sponsors emphasized that persons… »
Group of Teenagers Discover an Abandoned Cluster of Jobs: Sets Up Mad Rush For Work
Mob Seeks to Extract Scare Resource Before the Politicians Move In
August 17, 2010
Last Thursday, on the afternoon of August 12th, six teenagers, and one tag-a-long eleven year old, discovered a large cluster of job openings inside the warehouse district of the Chantilly, Virginia; a town located just outside the Washington D.C. beltway.
The boys,… »
Business Executives Hold Female Breadwinners Responsible for the Vacillating Economy
CEO’s Urge the Economy to Hurry Up and Make up its Mind
August 8, 2010
Fortune magazine recently reported that the nation’s CEO’s are holding back on investment plans and are blaming women for the vacillating movements of the U.S. economy. While flush with billions of dollars in cash, and ready to invest at the slightest sign… »
Prep School Quandary: No One Knows What to “Prepare” Students For
The School of Soft Rings Hits the World of Hard Knocks
June 19, 20101
For over a hundred years, Preparatory Schools across the Northeastern Region of the United States have prepared students for the rigors of college and the business world, by investing in a student’s knowledge, by building character, and by teaching students the convoluted task… »
Cell Phone APPS Expanding As Cell Phones Shrink in Size
Owners: Its Getting Too Hard to Find What’s Ringing
May 9, 2010
Like Aliens invading earth from the inside out, hand held cell phones continue to march towards world domination by swallowing up applications from other domains and devices. Having pushed cameras aside for a dominant share of the world’s photography market, flip-open cell phones are now… »
Iraqi Complaint About American Pullout: The Plan Leaves Too Many Iraqi’s In Iraq
First Step: Troops must Find Their Way Out of the Green Zone
March 20, 2010
As the Obama Administration begins to remove American Troops, and embedded pinup pictures, from Iraq, both the Iraq government and the Iraqi people have begun to voice strong opposition to the American withdrawal plan. Specifically, Iraqis are furious that American troops are… »
Sport Channels to Broadcast Next Season’s Insurance Payment Games
Millions of Americans Drafted into the Competition for Influence, Payments, and Money
Dec. 27, 2009
Five Cable Channels, Fox Sports, and four webcast firms are vying for rights to broadcast the 2010 season’s car and medical insurance payment games, a growing sport, played, and deducted, by millions of Americans. While the insurance payment games have brought drama, tension,… »
State Gun Laws Unleash—Public Gun Flashers
Communication Failure across the Rural-Urban Divide
March 14, 2009
There has been an explosion of recent reports from States which allow citizens to carry handguns, of aggressive episodes of gun-flashing by young white males. According to police, gun-flashers typically approach their target carefully and often engage in small talk and polite exchanges, before, leaping up into a full… »
Russia Uses Siberian Air Mass to Bully Smaller Warmer Nations
Russsia Asserting its Power again in a Multi-Polar world
January 16, 2010
In an ominous development reminiscent of the cold war, last week Russia was discovered to be amassing millions of cubic feet of frigid Siberian air, along the border of Kazakhstan, Ukraine, and the small huddled States of the Baltic. The polar air build up coincides… »