The New 2010 List of the “100 Poorest Individuals in the World” Includes Over 10 Americans

By admin

It Also Includes Rich People

March 27, 2010

Forbles magazine’s recent publication of this year’s list of the one hundred poorest individuals in the world includes African nomads and day laborers from Bangladesh. However, for the first time ever, this year, the list of the “world’s bottom poorest people” includes Wall Street Traders, Michigan auto-part executives, —Brooklyn poets—and their landlords; as well as Bernie Madoff’s tennis partners.

Forbles magazine cautioned readers that several other Americans may appear on the list, in the coming weeks, once they receive their incoming medical and legal bills.

While 12 Americans fell onto this year’s list, several foreigners on the 2009 list rose up and off the 2010 list of the world’s poorest people. For example, Orlando “Boy” Lupes, a fisherman living on a floating tire next to Philippine island of Palawan rose off the list, this year, after catching a Bamboo Shark and two Japanese tourist photo’s.  Also rising off the list, was Ethiopian day laborer, Owumo Berihun, who had accumulated enough “donated” seeds to start a one-hole, pay-as-you-putt, golf-green on a weedy lot 20 miles north of the Ethiopian capital of Addis Abbaba.

Burmese temple beggar, Kyi, Mya, moved dramatically off the list several years ago, when, one morning in the fall of 2008, he woke up outside the grounds of the Cam Watt temple, and found himself reincarnated into Wall Street Trader. However, in 2009, he had appeared back on the list after Lehman Brothers collapsed. So it was no surprise that this year, Mr. Mya, appeared, instead, on the 2010 Forbes list of the world richest people, after the Tarp II bailout was dispersed by the U.S. Government.

Disputed Billionaire and founder of the World Shopping center, Frank Lowry, was the first American to make the 2010 list of the world’s 100 poorest people after his 2010 tax statement claimed more than two billion dollars in business losses. Furthermore, Mr. Lowry lawyers say that their client lost another 500 million dollars after his accountants, had so successfully hid money from U.S. officials in secret offshore banks, that neither Mr. Lowry’s, nor his lawyers, were able to locate Mr. Lowry’s offshore money.

The unusual high volatility of this year’s financial markets guaranteed that several Wall Street traders made the list of the world poorest individuals and stayed on it for an average of seventeen minutes; only later to emerge as financial consultants and Government advisors, or on the cover of wine and vineyard magazines.

Three Connecticut hedge fund managers, appeared on the 2010 bottom poverty list, when debt default swaps with the U.S. Government, landed the debt swappers, deputy-assistant dishwashing jobs in U.S. government cafeterias.

Adube Oboyguno, of the Bon Gula region of Chad, who moved off the world’s poorest list this year, after a successful trade outside the Chadian town of Zan, landed his family a goat and two chickens,—— made the following comment to Forbles magazine:

“I am glad to be moving up into this world. But it saddens my heart when others, particularly Americans, are forced to take my place. I invite the American, Mr. Lowry to come to Bon Gula Chad—and—, share my chicken with me.”

The mayor of the nearby town of Zan, who himself moved off the list in 2007, when his wife’s chicken laid an egg, shared his concern about America’s newly poor.

“Any American facing foreclosure is welcome to come to Zan where we will provide him a mud brick shelter amply furnished with,———- a cool block of shade. There he can sit amongst his wives and his surviving livestock and dream about regaining access to indoor plumbing.”

Billionaire Ian Kachitorian Carmian Bactrumian quickly dropped onto 2010 list of the world’s poorest individuals after corporate raider Karl Ichan raided Mr. Bactrumian’s auto parts and aircraft engine holding company, and made off with sixty million shares, Mr. Bactrumian’s twenty six year old wife, and her post-marital jewelry collection. Mr. Ichan defended his raid, claiming Mr. Bactrumian was mismanaging his wife’s clothing and surplus of “womanly” energy.

Following his standard business model, Mr. Ichan, efficiently stripped of Mrs. Bactrumian of nonperforming clothing and jewelry assets.

Mr. Ichan’s company, in turn, was quickly raided by two police departments.

Meanwhile, Mr. Bactrumian is currently rumored be in rural Arkansas working on a deal which, if successful, could land him a goat and two chickens.

No American fell harder onto the bottom of the 2010 poorest list then former Wall Street trader and multi-fund manager, Steve Schonfeld. According to Forbles magazine investigators, Mr. Schonfeld lost his way inside the maze of halls and rooms of his Long Island castle-mansion. Unable to find his way out of his mansion or locate his cell phone or any other means of communication, Mr. Schonfeld’s businesses quickly collapsed into debt, while immigrant Ethiopian vandals uprooted his private golf course and sent grass-seed to relatives in Ethiopia

Meanwhile, Orland “Boy” Lupes, expressed concern, to Forbles investigators, that overfishing by high tech Japanese trawlers off the coast of the Philippines, could push him and thousands of other Filipino fishermen back on the world poorest list in the future.

“Our Filipino made nets cannot catch enough fish, to stop Filipino fish from breeding into more Filipino fish. However, Japanese trawlers are like Mr. Madoff; always sucking in more, and leaving behind empty voids of turbulence.

We, Philippine fisherman plan to go the courts to fight over the nets used by Japanese high tech trawlers.

 So we will be just like Bernie Madoff’s tennis partners.

See, ——-Filipinos may be poor in money and fish, but we are still rich with Ponzi-Madoff humor jokes.

Therefore, Filipino fishermen should be first place on the worldwide list of people who know how to live a rich life.”

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