New Poll: A Majority of Politicians Disapprove of the Recent Performance of Voters

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Across the Political Spectrum Politician Distrust in Voters is at an All Time High.

August 2, 2010

A recent Zugsby poll of elected officials serving in county, state, and national offices has revealed that that 72% of the nation’s politicians disapprove of the recent performance of American voters. Poll results indicated that 90% percent of politicians who belong to the Republication party are dissatisfied with the recent voting habits of voters who identified themselves as Democrats.

However, the poll also revealed that 56% of Democrat politicians do not approve of the Democratic voter practice of voting for Mick Jagger on the “no satisfaction” ticket.

And politicians from both parties expressed disapproval of the Democratic voter preference for donating money to organic food co-ops and deep breathing yoga instructors before giving money to political campaigns.

And, according to Zugsby pollsters, both Republicans and Democratic politicians hold strong negative views of the growing number of Republican voters that stay mad at the President more than eight working hours a day.

Republican Congressman Maxigrandon the III of Mississippi told Zugsby pollsters:

“Voters who articulate a vociferous protestation of the President’s takeover of the economy, do nothing but remind other voters that the President has succeeded in implementing his agenda.”

Democratic Congressman Vincy La-Fazio of New Jersey told the Zugsby I-phone recorder:

“Republican voters that gripe about the President’s takeover of economy are passing the buck,—– billions of bucks,—– from private corporations onto the Democratic party. This means that voters blame Democratic politicians for bailing out the corporations. Voters blame Democratic politicians for not getting them a job. And voters blame Democratic politicians for interfering in the economy, not doing something about the economy, and not interfering with the politicians who are doing something about economy. ”

A day after his Zugsby interview, Congressman Maxigrandon described the current mood of Congress to a visiting group of Mississippi voters; voters who admitted that they may have lost touch with the average Congressional representative in Washington:

 “We hear-tell stories of fired-up voters who call talk-radio stations every hour and threaten to do “something”.  But politicians want action. If only 39% of Mississippi voters can raise up enough energy to find their way to a polling booth, as in the last election, I promise, come late November the politicians are going to cut earmarks to the cities, towns, and rural abodes of Mississippi by 61 percent. “

Congressman La-Fazio of New Jersey told six remaining Mississippi tourists:

“Politicians from across the political spectrum are in an angry mood over voter demands for more earmarks, more entitlement money, and jobs, while, at the same time, berating politicians for not doing anything about the national debt.

Frankly, I am fed up with constituents who demand that Congress provide money for a Rolling Stones museum–with a satisfaction guarantee, fund a new hospital– just outside the siren range of their house, hire more teachers, –until their son graduates, and then turn around, and blame me for being a spend and waste, deficit loving, chicken feathers, liberal hugging, politician.”

Said La-Fazio’s left-side aide:

“What the Congressman is trying to say, is that voters live in a world so surrounded by entitlements that they fail to see that there is an another world where the average politician is barely able to make it;  running from pillar to post, working two committees at once, and fundraising into the middle of the night, just to keep that nation’s finances from sinking below the bottom line.”

Eight hours later, Congressman Maxigrandon was found before the Washington monument lecturing to one last remaining Mississippi visitor:

“This once great nation’s electorate has lost all sense of geography, proportion, and budget.

Only when voters return to a pencil, paper, and encyclopedia-based education system, will this nation restore enough fiscal balance, to walk securely across the tightrope of today’s economy, without the safety net of welfare, and free itself from TV news reports in the adjacent ring of clown entertainment.”

Local Politicians Also Display an Angry Mood

The Zugsby poll also confirmed that state and county level politicians have grown increasing hostile to voters in their own district.

Florida’s Pasco county commissioner, Ted Schrader:

“This current crop of Pasco county voters have been acting like a barely employable rabble of loose-tongued, lazy-brain, late-on-the-job, bums. They whine over bad roads. They moan about a lack of jobs. They complain about high taxes. But every time we send out a crew out to fix the roads the voters gripe that we are wasting their precious tax money to create traffic jams. “

Indiana’s Boone County commissioner Charles Eaton:

“I have never seen my fellow politicians as upset at voters as they have been this past six months. They complain that voters call them when a stray dog urinates in their yard. They complain that voters call them when they disagree with the teenage graffiti at the local bus-stop. They complain that voters call them to report that hearing Honky Tonk Women on the radio no longer makes anyone fanticize about having sex while dancing to pop music.”

 Pasco county commissioner, Schrader:

“We’ve got unfilled orange picking jobs all over my district but the only people with the gumption to haul their rear end up a ladder and harvest fruit are the illegal immigrants who the voters complain are stealing their jobs.  If the voters don’t shape up, come next election, we are putting the whole state system on butterfly ballots.”

Indiana county commissioner, Easton:

“I am tired of Boone county voters blaming the county commissioners for the corruption in Kabul Afghanistan and turning around to ask my secretary where Kabul is, where Afghanistan is, and who the county commissioners are.”

Mr. Eaton then added:

Politicians around here have lost so much trust in the local voters, that my colleagues are talking about broadening out, and running for national office.”

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