Today’s News Reviewed for Tomorrow’s Readers

By deanc
 July 2, 2009

Stock prices are falling daily. Wars in the Mid East continue unabated. Oil prices leap, hop, and drop like they are tied to the end of a world market whip. Amid all this distressing news comes more news, reported in this edition of Banana News, that North Korea may be run by a teenager, that the nation’s Karaoke skills are in a state of decline, that politicians cannot count past nine hundred and ninety nine trillion, and only one person in the United States, Bernie Madoff, has read and understood the Social Security Operations Manual. And neither the U.S. Government’s deficit nor North Korea’s Missiles can attract as much attention as a poor back-step by singer and extra-planetary back stepper Michael Jackson.


The link between the distressing daily economic news and the wacky turn of events around the world is obvious. Suppose oil prices rise for the next twenty years. In the future the United States might be grateful to be able to import nuclear energy from North Korea while supplying mosques in Iran with chairs and other much needed furniture. And millions of members of a swelling Moonie religion might have broken their ankles, in hopeless attempts to dance-walk backwards, while awaiting the second coming of Michael Jackson.

The seeds of this future are planted by today’s stories and commentary. There may be a day, in the future, when both Republicans and Democrats cannot count past one hundred, if today, our young people, can’t properly count the first three beats of a Karoake song. Or the U.S. military could, in the future, seize control of the nation’s finances and convert the U.S. national debt into a fierce military weapon which swallows all incoming missiles and straggling illegal border crossers into a black and red holed debtors void.

Congressional action today on aging and the internet, as reported in this edition of Banana News, will influence the quality life and even the after-life for the years ahead. In the future, the choice may not be Heaven, Hell, or purgatory. Instead, for most Americans it may be Heaven, Hell, or facebook. And the growing number of Buddhist Americans may have the option of spending their waning years using Twitter, before transforming in birds upon their death.

Banana News readers are therefore encouraged to offer robust commentary on yesterday’s, today’s, and even tomorrow’s events. Any comment made, and posted today, could, like the butterfly wings of chaos, swell up into a thundering force which moves the future in a certain forceful direction. To stay silent in these tumultuous times, is to guarantee that one hundred years from now, no one, will be there to know about you and the world which we have lived. And nor will they have the opportunity to laugh at and enjoy, how horribly wrong all of our predictions turned out to be.














Share this story:
  • Digg
  • Facebook
  • Slashdot
  • StumbleUpon

Leave a Reply